Writer: Siena Iwasaki Milbauer
CW: This article contains mentions of sexual assault, sexual harassment, and gender-based violence, and statistics on the frequency of these crimes.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. While we should be combating sexual assault and supporting survivors every day of the year, this month provides a special opportunity to examine our role as individuals and communities in creating cultures of consent, intervening when sexually violating behavior is happening around us, and facitilating healing for folks who have experienced sexual assault and/or sexual harassment.
As youth and young people, and particularly during the socially distanced era of COVID-19, we spend increasing amounts of time in online spaces, whether that’s on social media, discord and other chat platforms, or video calls. These virtual gatherings are a pivotal part of our work and social lives. Therefore, it is crucial that we bring principles of consent and survivor advocacy into these online spaces, just as we would strive to in a physical environment.
Of course, we have yet to achieve widespread adoption of appropriate ideals of consent in even our physical interactions. That can make the task of behaving wisely and considerately in virtual spaces even harder. But these are both important conversations to be having, and we can have them at the same time.
Today, we want to focus on the online side of the matter. How can we create safe and supportive online spaces that center consent and show sensitivity to folks who are more vulnerable to misogyny and other gender-based forms of harassment and violence? Here are a few important things to center in our virtual spaces:
Just as self and spacial awareness is important in physical gatherings, it is also important when engaging with community virtually. Always remember to check in with yourself and your online surroundings. What privileges do you bring to the virtual table? What marginalized identities? Who else is in the virtual space with you? What role can you best play in the online gathering (listener, advocate, ally, etc.) that will benefit both you and the rest of your virtual community?
It is also worth realizing that there is a good chance that at least some of the participants in any online gathering have experienced sexual harrassment, sexual assault, and/or gender-based violence. In the United States, a sexual assault occurs approximately every 73 seconds. Transgender and cisgender women, transgender men, and non-binary folks are at significantly higher risk of sexual assault and harassment, but cisgender men also experience sexual assault. The absurdly high proportion of folks who have experienced sexual harassment and/or violence is one reason why it is so important to bring principles of survivor advocacy to all of the virtual spaces we convene in.
Including content warnings is an important part of keeping online spaces safe and supportive. Content warnings should be provided whenever in doubt; they aren’t going to hurt and they may help a great deal. It is particularly important to provide content warnings when discussing potentially triggering topics like rape, sexual assault, and relationship violence.
When providing a content warning, keep it broad and inclusive, addressing the whole gathering rather than calling out specific people you presume would benefit most from the content warning. The whole point of a content warning is not to presume others’ needs, but instead to give folks the chance to look within themselves and assess their own levels of comfortability with a specific topic and/or virtual activity.
Creating consent culture is something each of us can contribute to in ways big and small. In online arenas, we can:
-Practice transparency and honesty in our online interactions
-Always be sure to receive folks’ permission before sharing their information, stories, or materials online
-When leading and/or facilitating an online space, build community agreements with the input of participants. This allows everyone in the online space to establish their boundaries, and to get on the same page as to what constitutes acceptable behavior in the virtual gathering.
-If you see other folks engaging in non-consensual and/or harassing online activities, call them out. When doing this, be sure to center the wishes of the victim of the harassment. Speak with them, not for them. For example, if a person in a video call says something inappropriate to another participant, you could private message the targeted person and confer with them as to how you can assist them, given the uncomfortable position they have been put in.
Creating healthy and consent-focused online spaces is something we are all doing together, one step at a time. This is a process, and none of us are experts. That’s why it is important for each of us as individuals to come to the table with humility and generosity. Mistakes will be made on this journey, but as long as we are willing to learn and continuously center accountability, together we can make communities that are truly safe and supportive, both in physical and virtual spheres.
One of the most frustrating things about online harassment is how few resources, particularly legally, exist to help victims. Our laws and policies simply haven’t caught up to the reality of our technologies.
That being said, if you or someone you know is experiencing online harassment, OnlineSOS is a good place to start. OnlineSOS is an organization that specifically caters to journalists who experience online harassment, but their collection of resources and information is applicable to many online harassment scenarios, and it is one of the only sources of broad and wide-ranging tools related to this topic. There are also more broad national and local resources for survivors of gender-based violence listed below.
Most of all, remember to turn to your physical and virtual communities for support. No matter the challenge, we can always be there for each other. Whether physical and/or virtual, you should never have to cope with harassment by yourself. There is a vast community of survivors and allies ready and willing to stand with you. You are not alone.
24/7 national sexual assault crisis line (RAINN): 1-800-656-4673 (this crisis line will also help you get connected with local service providers)
NSVRC (National Sexual Violence Recource Center): nsvrc.org
Asian Pacific Institute on Gender-Based Violence (National): api-gbv.org
Asian Women United of Minnesota (Support for survivors of domestic violence, Minnesota): awum.org
Standpoint (Legal services in Minnesota): standpointmn.org
Transforming Generations (Culturally sensitive support for survivors of gender-based violence, Minnesota): transforminggenerations.org
Violence Free Minnesota (Support for survivors of relationship abuse, Minnesota): vfmn.org
Sources:
Harel, Terri, “7 Best Practices for Coping with Online Harassment”, Ms. Magazine, 8 Oct. 2020. https://msmagazine.com/2020/10/08/7-best-practices-for-coping-with-online-sexual-harassment/. Accessed 5 Apr. 2021.
NSVRC (National Sexual Violence Resource Center), “Digital Consent, Boundaries, and Everyday Consent Online”, NSVRC, 2021. https://www.nsvrc.org/saam/2021/preventionresources/digitalconsentboundaries. Accessed 5 Apr. 2021.
NSVRC (National Sexual Violence Resource Center), “Online Community Prevention”, NSVRC, 2021. https://www.nsvrc.org/saam/2021/preventionresources/onlinecommunityprevention. Accessed 5 Apr. 2021.
RAINN, “Victims of Sexual Violence: Statistics”, RAINN, 2021. https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence. Accessed 6 Apr. 2021.
Silver Sweeney, Marlisse, “What the Law Can (and Can’t) Do About Online Harassment”, Atlantic, 12 Nov. 2014. https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2014/11/what-the-law-can-and-cant-do-about-online-harassment/382638/. Accessed 5 Apr. 2021.